Bank of Nassau West

Bank of Nassau West
© 1989-2007 KKB Enterprises, Ltd. · Last Log On: Duh! Right now, stupid!

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Site Links Brokerage Bill Pay Transfer Account Services My Message Center Bank of Nassau West Where We Say, *"Your money is our* money."**	Account Services At the Bank of Nassau West, you should not expect too many services for your account. We do not have the means with which to provide good service to our customers. Please don't think that we don't appreciate your business, even though it looks that way, we're just broke. Thank you for being a customer of the Bank of Nassau West! Available Balance "What you see is what you get." You've heard the old addage, but we have discovered that it is not always true. For instance, your Available Balance may be $639.43, but if we don't have the funds to cover a withdrawal of that amount, then it's not really available, is it? Bill Pay How can you expect us to pay your bills when we can't even pay our own?! You're silly! Our suggestion for you is to give us all of your money, and after paying some of our own bills, we may pay some of yours. It seems like a good idea. At the Bank of Nassau West, we're full of good ideas. Brokerage At the Bank of Nassau West, we have determined that the perfect broker·age is about 21. There is usually not a broker·age in a person's life than 21, when you have a great TV, car and stereo, but no pot to piss in nor window to throw it out of. Contact Us If you've got a question, or "God" forbid, a complaint, we feel that it may very well be a complete waste of your time to contact us with these trivialities. You see, we're not really all that concerned with your questions or opinions, we just want your money, and lots of it, so please send it in at your earliest possible convenience. However, if you feel that you must bother us with your whining, email us. Thanks! Help Center At the Bank of Nassau West, we're not in the strategic position to offer you any help. At this moment, you are completely helpless. Please deposit all available funds into your Bank of Nassau West account at your earliest convenience, and we will see about getting you some help. Locations The Bank of Nassau West has one main branch in the Nassau West Capitol, and a Mobile Service Unit to come to you (for large deposits only). As we grow, with your financial assistance, we will offer more branch locations to better receive your funds. Thanks for banking with the Bank of Nassau West! My Message Center What do you think this is? Outlook Express? Your answering machine? The Post Office? The office water cooler? There's no messages for you here. If there were, we'd probably have to charge you a fee for that. You don't want that, do you? Sorry for the disappointment, but thanks for banking with us! Site Map We were going to draw a pretty picture for you so you would be less likely to get lost in our enormous, sprawling website, but like everything else, that would have cost money - your money. So we shelved that idea in favor of the following: Please don't get lost in our enormous, sprawling website. Thank you. Transfer So you'd like to transfer funds, huh? How much? Any amount will suffice so long as you transfer it to the Bank President's Account (1009197370910765). Currently, we are not set up for transfers between any other accounts. While you wait for this feature, please feel free to transfer your funds to the Bank President's Account (1009197370910765). Thank you for being a customer of the Bank of Nassau West! Back to Top
© 1989-2007 KKB Enterprises, Ltd. No part of this work may be used in whole or in part by any means without the express written consent of kbartram. All copyrights not held by me are property of their respective owners. All rights reserved. Please note that the Bank of Nassau West is not insured, guaranteed, or warranteed. Furthermore, the Bank of Nassau West is not responsible for lost, stolen, or missing funds from your account or from your home. Please feel free to utilize the services offered by the Bank of Nassau West at your own risk. The Bank of Nassau West is not affiliated in any way with the Nassau West Department of the Treasury or the Nassau West Federal Reserve System. With us, your funds are as good as gone - just like ours! Have a nice day. Se habla espanol, buenos dias!